© Bill Lemmond (Actually, you're welcome to download and share these web-resolution images, and you probably won't be happy with printing them.)

Pizza from Scratch, 146

25 August, 2008

An apology to all on campus who've had to put up with me

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Sorry, I don't know how to fix this page. New version of whole site is in the works.

No one ever complained to my face, sadly, so they had to suffer in silence, as in ignorance I did whatever made some tell others they were glad I wouldn't be in their next class. I still don't know what I need to change. I am on record as not being stubborn about changing. I'm also on record with friends, family, and therapy groups as genuuinely wanting constructive criticism.

Otherwise I don't learn, and I keep turning people off. I really want to be a husband and father, and that means some woman has to decide she wants to grow old with me.

All the things in this strip have happened to me. One reason I had so little fun when I was still a kid was that my homework always expanded to fill all available time. I lost a lot of time daydreaming, mentally wandering, even when still mentally within an assigned subject.

And yes, I struggled to get into an adult conversation before I forgot what I wanted to say.

And I can only reliably remember daily and weekly routines.

And I struggle to remember names, unless and until they are daily or weekly routines for me. I know about how I should try to repeat the person's name several times, when I first hear it, but at the time I have to focus on whatever else is going on, and it always feels too artificial to say the new name, over and over. And I'm still shy, even though I strongly prefer being around people who aren't mean. I hope people don't hold it against me.

And I always did get a lot of exercise on campus. I passed exercise walkers, and I was pulling about 60 pounds on a luggage cart.

And ADD isn't my worst disability. Autism (Think clueless class clown.) may be my most annoying disability, for others, but if I don't stay in my 'happy place,' I'll end up the way I was when I was a college dropout for 22 years. Depression can be crippling, and as there's no wheelchair, many assumed I was lazy. I really can't go back to that.