Pizza from Scratch, 98

17 September, 2007

Dr. Luther does community theater.

© Bill Lemmond (Actually, you're welcome to download and share these web-resolution images, and you probably won't be happy with printing them.)

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Back in the late 1970s, when I was in high school, my school put on a set of one-act plays, one of which was "The Telltale Heart," by Edgar Alan Poe. I thought it was very well done, but as I knew the lead actor pretty well, I was a bit distracted from the story. So I was in a state of mind bridging between reality and fantasy. For some odd reason, I remembered the Hank Williams song, "Walking the Floor Over You." It occurred to me that singing it would be horribly wrong, but rather funny.

So I've waited decades to spring this awful joke on my readers. You may have seen the sequence I began in January of the same year, which ended with Dr. Lux Luther building "The Plumber's Fiend" (no, not "friend") to go after one or more guys who were clogging the one stall for guys in wheelchairs, in one Men's Room on campus.

While the rude justice fit the crime in a way, Dr. Luther had neither police nor judicial authority, so technically it was assault and battery. When word got out, lots of casual public restroom vandals cleaned up their acts, so the Plumber's Fiend was left to function as "a figure of menace" ("The Simpsons," re. Nelson the bully), rather than as an active force.

Given that Dr. Luther was unlikely to use the Fiend again, and because anyone old enough to be a judge has experienced a wrecked public restroom, the bad doctor was sentenced to community service. He decided to try community theater.

There really is a Chamberlayne Actors' Theater, which has been presenting plays for many years. I don't get out to theater, much, because I don't like going by myself. But I have enjoyed their productions that I have attended, especially when they presented "Weird Sisters," based on the book by Terry Pratchett. Terry Pratchett's best-selling Disk World series is very funny, and very thoughtful, and adapts well to stage and screen.

Wait for it - there's an even sicker cartoon about his next community service assignment.