Pizza from Scratch, 64

4 December, 2006

It's "Mumford" time!

© Bill Lemmond (Actually, you're welcome to download and share these web-resolution images, and you probably won't be happy with printing them.)

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I had only a five mile drive, and a half mile walk (from free, no-time-limit parking). I did know students who traveled 30 miles and more, every class day. I may have had one class in six years cancelled on short notice. Sometimes it has to happen, but the reason had better be very good. The professor needs to do Show-and-Tell, in the next class: show doctor's note (or whatever), tell the story.

"The Mumford" isn't named after anyone by that name, as far as I know. As far as I know, it's never been carried out, and is only hyperbole. It's a bit like the line from TV's M*A*S*H, where Corporal Klinger says "May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your armpits!"

As my friend, Mr. K described it (making it up as he went along, I suspect), the Mumford is a wedgie that takes a crew to perform. The victim has to be held. Two assistants, armed with diner-style ketchup and mustard dispensers, approach from front and back.

The victim's underwear is pulled up and out, at front and back, and lots of ketchup from one side, and lots of mustard from the other, are applied. With the victim's crevices filled, his underwear is pulled up and over his head.

I doubt that last bit is physically possible. Overall, the Mumford is also too elaborate ever to have happened. It's still fun to think about it happening to mean, selfish people.